How I Began Chanting the Lalita Sahasranama

I often see people asking whether they are allowed to recite the Lalita Sahasranama and feeling unsure about it. They wonder if it is allowed to recite without a formal initiation by a Guru (Deeksha). So today, I felt I should share a little of my own journey. I want to tell you how I began this sacred recitation, what stirred my heart, and how it transformed me. It is said that only the truly fortunate and inwardly called are able to approach the Lalita Sahasranama, for it is not just a chant but a living bridge to the Mother’s lap.

I was born in a small village (district - Fatehpur) in Uttar Pradesh. In my house, faith was the dominant culture filling every corner of the house. I was blessed to be having very religious parents. My earliest memories are of me reciting the Ramcharitmanas, the scent of incense drifting through the house. Alongside Ramcharitmanas, I chanted Hanuman Chalisa, Bajrang Baan, Sankatmochan Hanuman Ashtak, Sundarkand, Durga Kavach, Durga Chalisa, Shiva Chalisa - everything shaped my inner world long before I understood the meanings of the mystic words. My childhood was filled with visits to Vindhyavasini Mata temple, local temples, bath to Ganga river, and Chitrakoot. These memories are my deepest roots. My father had a transferable job so I got to visit a lot of temples which used to be in our vicinity.

As I grew, so did my love for these practices. I kept Pradosh fasts for Lord Shiva for many years on the advice of the family priest. Those days we had a full grown Bilva tree in our house so it was easy to pluck the leaves of bilva tree and worship Lod Shiva in full devotion. I did the worship in the ritualistic way as instructed by our family priest. But when I left my home for college, life changed its colour. I moved to Pune for my MBBS - Armed Forces Medical College - and my days became crowded with books, exams, hostel life, and dreams of a career. Slowly, the regularity of my daily recitations faded. Except for Pradosh Vrat, many things were left behind - or so I thought.

But life, as it always does, brings us back to what is truly ours. Around 2013, I found myself standing at a point where circumstances shook my mind from inside. I was restless, deeply anxious, surrounded by shadows of doubt and fear that I could not name, yet could not escape. And when such times come, what does the heart do? It runs back to its oldest refuge - to the lap where it first felt safe.

I remembered what I did as a child whenever I was afraid, I would close my eyes and whisper Hanuman Ji’s name mentally. Later, in my growing years, my heart found more and more shelter in Devi Maa. Every time I truly called out to Her, my eyes would fill with tears, and the impossible would somehow become possible. My Mother had never failed me when I truly needed Her.

So that year, standing at another crossroad of life, I turned my mind back towards Her - with nothing but my very raw worry and stellar faith. My mind whispered that I should chant Baglamukhi Devi’s mantra, and even though I had read everywhere that such mantras require a Guru’s guidance, my heart said, How can a mother ever reject her child’s cry? I started chanting silently, mentally, imbibing every syllable, visualizing Ma Baglamukhi while reciting her Mantra.

And the storm within me began to settle. The fear lost its grip, the anxiety softened, and somewhere deep inside, a new strength was born. I kept going. My urge to realize the Mother grew deeper. I began to read about the Das Mahavidyas, one by one - each form revealing a new aspect of the same boundless energy.

And then, for the first time, I came across the Lalita Sahasranama. Until then, I had only known of Durga Saptashati as one of the leading forms of stuti of Ma, the idea of chanting the thousand names of Sri Lalita Mahatripurasundari was new to me. But again came the caution: Do not recite without a Guru’s initiation. So I hesitated. I searched, I wondered, I worried. But the longing kept rising like a tide that would not be turned back.

I asked myself is it ever wrong for a child to remember his Mother? If my longing is pure, if my voice is only calling for Her lap, will She turn me away? Won’t She see my smallness, my mistakes, my ignorance - and still accept me? My love for her was selfless and it had to be having some pull. Like a child running across a busy road to reach his mother’s arms, will She not clear the path?

One night, when my heart could hold back no longer, I printed out the PDF of Lalita Sahasranama. I sat down alone in my small temple, and began. Word by word, name by name - carefully, slowly, absorbing and experiencing each word like sacred nectar. My Sanskrit was not perfect, but my devotion was whole. As I chanted, something in me broke open — an ocean of longing for Ma, a rush of tears, a strange comfort, and a sense of deep strength born from my faith in Her.

It was not like chanting Durga Saptashati - which carries the fierce sword and display of unimaginable power of the Divine Mother. The Lalita Sahasranama is a garland - every name a petal, every description a glimpse of the Mother’s grace, power and true nature. I felt like a child - describing my Mother’s beauty, picturing Her eyes, Her smile, Her ornaments, Her radiance, Her characteristics, Her behavior, Her affinities, Her strength, Her absoluteness. The more I read, the closer She felt.

From that night on, I began reciting it often. Slowly, it became a part of my daily life. As I went deeper, I came across the Panchadashakshari Mantra of Sri Vidya. Again, I felt a deep pull to recite it and began reciting it too, mentally, without telling anyone. Whether working, walking, or eating - somewhere inside, the mantra kept flowing. It came to me very naturally as if the Mantra had been waiting for me to conduct itself through me, as a channel.

It is said when a disciple is ready, the Guru appears. In time, my seeking brought me to my Guru, who guided me into Sri Vidya properly. But looking back, I know in my bones that the Mother’s grace was the real Guru all along. She guided my unsteady steps when there was no one to teach me, She covered my mistakes with Her compassion, and She let my longing grow until it was time to be led forward.

I share this not to claim this is the ‘correct’ way for everyone. Each of us has our own past, our own unseen karmas and half-finished prayers from forgotten lifetimes. For some, it is right to wait for a Guru before every step. For others, the Mother Herself picks them up and holds them until they find one.

If you too feel this calling - a silent hunger that no worldly success or failure can satisfy - trust that it is She who has planted that seed in you. Let your devotion remain pure and profound. Seek Her not for favors or bargains, but for the sheer sweetness of Her presence. A child does not sit in its mother’s lap to ask for wealth or comforts, it sits there to feel her presence, her love and warmth, her protection.

The Mother you call Lalita, Tripura Sundari, Raj Rajeshwari or by any name - She knows your heart. She sees what you hide from the world. Trust Her. Call Her. Confide in Her. Let Her decide what you need, and when, and how will you get it. May your longing lead you to Her feet. May your devotion grow deeper than fear or doubt. May you find that lap again, where all the worldly burdens melt and go away, and all that remains is Her infinite love.